I’m Here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum…and I’m All Out of Bubblegum

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Leave it to Misha to spur me into action when it comes to making armor for the distaff in Second Life.  Okay, so it only took me a month and a half to get on the stick and actually make it, but hey, sometimes you have to get up the nerve to outfit someone with big swords like this.

There’s an absolute truism in Second Life:  Avatars tend to be Way Too Tall.  Like abnormally Wookiee tall.  Heck, they’d probably dwarf Peter Mayhew in real life, and I know for a fact that man stands over seven feet tall.  I’ve met him in all of his morose grumpiness.  He’s the kind of guy you walk up to and say, “How’s the weather up there?” and then you get your butt kicked into next Tuesday.  But I digress…

Second Life is full of really tall, generally disproportionate avatars.  You can really run the gamut of shapes, from massive buttshelves to eight foot tall pin-headed galoots.  Speaking of which, Misha told a story about the day she went shopping for swords and was confronted by such a galoot.  Misha, if you don’t know, is a midget in Second Life terms.  Like me, she stands at a paltry six foot three or four.  Tiny.  Miniscule.  However, she is also very much shaped in a pleasing way, and likely attracts the attention of many a galoot.  However, for some reason, galoots have this tendency to believe that it’s okay to try to intimidate those who are perceived as smaller and weaker than they are.  The problem for these guys is they usually have brains to match their pin-heads, so it’s pretty amusing to put them in their place with a well aimed comment, even if there isn’t much sport in it.

With permission (I hope…Misha will probably get a kick out this me quoting her here) let’s relive the shopping experience, shall we?  Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

XXX: smiles, aren’t you too pretty and tiny to be looking at swords?
Misha Selene: No, apparently I need a backup weapon to gut you with…

It really makes you inordinately proud.

So all of this is just a long-winded way of saying, “Hey, look at this new armor!”  It will, hopefully, be debuted at Fantasy Fair.  It’s typical:  Standard sizing, materials enhanced.  It comes with rigged pants, corset, and chainmail shirt, along with unrigged shoulder, arm, wrist, thigh, and shin guards, plus a cloak with a hood (combination of unrigged mesh and flexi prims).  The boots are from the Avatar Bizarre Panzermensch collection, but I’m sure at some point before the fair I’ll be making a pair of boots for this as well.  So yeah, stay tuned and all that.  Oh yeah, and there’s a few colors available (pants, corset, and cloak).

How Many Licks Does It Take to Get To the Center of the Labyrinth?

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My friends all know I have a borderline stalkerish admiration for David Bowie.  Every time he’s visited my area for a show, I’ve gone.  Sometimes multiple times for the same tour.  The music collection includes something like 800+ songs – versions and reversions, covers and originals, live and studio…legitimate and bootleg recordings of all things Bowie.  Heck, there’s even some Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, and Mott the Hoople in the mix for good measure.  Then there’s the fact that Bowie’s appearance in Zoolander makes me giggle every time I see it.  But then, I laugh like a little kid at Family Guy, but I digress…

In short, I consider David Bowie to be a demigod of some sort, and possibly an alien with photogenic superpowers.

So it should come as no surprise that some of the designs at Avatar Bizarre should be pretty heavily influenced by Mr. Bowie’s extensive wardrobe.

So, without further ado, and with much aplomb, I give you an advance look at the Goblin King!  This is a rigged mesh outfit, which consists of jacket and pants.  The boots are from the Panzermensch collection at Avatar Bizarre, but I have no doubt that quite a few tall boots should work pretty well with the pants.  And here’s the really good news:  If you don’t want the entire outfit, the pants and the jacket will be sold separately, just in case you want one or the other, but not both.  In even better news, for my female friends at least, there is also a women’s version available.  So you can put down those pitchforks and torches.  The lynching is completely unnecessary, I assure you!

The pants/jacket combo will be available in seven colors, and include an alpha for both pieces, plus full perm alpha textures just in case you want to work on your own set of alphas.  Standard sizing applies, and there will be a demo available.  Oh and lest I forget, it’s all materials enhanced, so yeah.  There’s that too.

Now for the bummer news:  This outfit will debut at Fantasy Fair in Second Life (which starts in April), unless I don’t get in, in which case it will be released my mainstore location and on the Marketplace in April.

Pictures of the female version will be posted here as soon as things are textured, and my model becomes available to pose for pictures.